Perfect Girl

ACT I: We’re Meant To Be Together

“Sorry,” I grinned, “This doesn’t usually happen for me.” Sweat ran down my forehead.

“Oh, of course, Mr. punctuality,” she replied with a sneer.

“Look, okay, it’s not me. It’s the bus, I swear—I’m never running late.”

“Ugh,” she mimicked me with the childish lilt in her voice, “Never, ever, ever,” she kept on grinning, and I saw something that her single dating-app photo hadn’t shown me – her little dimples. They suited her. “But I forgive you, Marco, you’re cute. Cuter than you looked on Tinder, actually.”

“Is that so?” I stepped a bit back, “I’m still wondering whether I feel the same about you, Ms.”

She gasped, “No manners whatsoever, Mr.”

I nodded along.

“You know,” I checked my watch, “We’re still on time for our reservation.”

“What reservation?” Arzu asked.

“It’s a secret,” I matched her smirk, “But you’ll definitely slap me when we get there.”

“Oh,” her eyebrows raised, and she sucked in her lips, holding back the smirk, “Good slap or bad one?”

“Definitely a good one,” my eyes glinted at a sudden wicked thought, “Come on, it’s here around the corner.”

“Fine,” she paused, “You know I’ve never actually been to this city before, but it looks nice.”

“Did it also take you an hour to get here?”

“Eh,” she wobbled her palm side to side, “Something around that. But I didn’t mind it. Thank you for choosing the middle spot for both of us.”

“If we keep on,” I hesitated, “Well, you know, seeing each other.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“We would probably spend most of the time all over the country.”

“Or you can just always come to my place,” she paused, and her head turned to me, “That’s what you want, right?” She caught my eyes and let out a soft, but also testing smile.

“Eh, well, yeah,” Both my words and heartbeat stuttered, “That sounds…like a plan.”

“I’m kidding,” she waved it off, “or I’m not?”

The way she could swing from the widest smile to a flat, serious face scared me. And tempted me.

“We’re here,” I pulled the door of the restaurant and invited her in.

“Thank you.”

I slipped right behind her and met the warmth and heavy smell of frying olive oil.

“What do you think about the place?”

“Did you really bring a Turkish girl to a Greek Restaurant?”

I grinned. “I had to be creative.”

“You’re so getting slapped.”

A host approached us and guided us towards our table set between two families. The place looked like an intimate tavern, not a restaurant. It had a low ceiling woven with twisted wooden vines and vibrant pink and terracotta colours on its walls. I pulled her chair first. The host gave me a light smirk and scratched the stubble on his jaw.

“First date, huh?”

“Excuse me,” Arzu said.

“Well, the guys only act like that on the first dates,” his eyes slightly narrowed, but a warm grin remained on his face. It was hard to tell whether it was his hospitality or just the fact that his face had only one expression.

“I don’t think it’s the case for him,” she paused, “Right?”

I nodded and cut my eyes to the host with a smug smile.

“Looks nice, right?”

“It does. It’s very family-like.”

She was right. More of the tables held families than couples. Yet it didn’t bother us. At least, it didn’t bother me.

“You like that?”

“I like it. My dad and I used to go to similar places all the time.”

“Back in Turkiye, right?”

“Yeah. Have you been there?”

“Pfff,” I blew a dry puff of air through my lips, “Is the sky blue?”

“Actually?” She leaned forward and placed her arms on the edge of the table.

In this half-dark, half-lit room, her eyes looked pitch black. There was no reflection in them, almost no white either ¬– just darkness.

“Yeah, family and I used to be there a lot.”

“Where did you go?”

The waiter approached us with a menu and set it down beside us.

“Ankara, Antalya, Istanbul, almost every other big city,” I took a sip of water, and finished my train of thought, “Izmir too.”

“Wow, you travelled more than I did.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Well, I don’t really like travelling that much,” she drew a gentle circle in the air, “In general, all across the world.”

“Really?” I hesitated, “Isn’t that kind of boring?”

“No,” she took a prolonged sip, “I just like stability.”

She waved it away without much thought and dove back into the menu.

How can you not like travelling? Isn’t this the most exciting part of life?

“Marco, you never told me what you do?”

“Like work?”

“Yeah,” she said, as her head was still practically inside the menu.

“I’m a photographer. You?”

“I’m a dentist.”

“That’s cool. I wanted to be a dentist once.”

“You did?” Her eyes peeked from the side of the menu for a spare second.

“Yeah. My mom’s a doctor, so I thought I would just follow her path, but that didn’t really work out.”

“Why not?” The menu completely went down.

“I felt like I was chasing something I didn’t really want. It felt imposed, not something I wanted.”

“Hm. That’s fair. That wasn’t the case for me. I always knew what I wanted, and somehow got where I am.”

“What excites you about dentistry that much?”

“Excites?”

I hummed back.

“I don’t think excites is the right word for what I do. It’s just something I feel like I should be doing. You know how you wake up, and you know you must go get breakfast just because it feels sort of right.”

“I usually don’t have breakfast, but sure…keep going.”

She clicked with her tongue and rolled her eyes. “You got the gist of it.”

“I did. It’s great when you can have something like that.”

“Do you have that with photography?”

“Oh, hell no, I hate it. I hate my boss most of all.”

“Why?”

She leaned forward, and her black eyes looked somewhere past me. She brushed back her long hair behind her ear. I wondered how she’d look with it short.

“He’s just a piece of shit. He treats me like his slave. He can always text me at my off- hours and demand all the work I’m supposed to turn in that I have never heard about, and–”

“Sorry to disturb you guys, are you ready to order?”

“Yeah, I will take a moussaka and sparkling water.”

“Okay, good, moussaka and sparkling water, and for you?”

“And for me one poikilia please.”

“It’s quite a large plate, Ms. It’s usually ordered for three to four people.”

She waved it off, “Don’t worry, I’m hungry.”

The waiter and I exchanged looks.

“As you wish.”

“You were saying,” Arzu placed her hand on mine.

“He’s a piece of shit, that’s all you need to know.”

“But why do you work there?”

“I don’t really have a choice. It pays pretty well, and the job is quite fun,” I paused, “Sometimes.”

“It’s not my business really, but I think maybe you should quit?”

“If I find a good alternative, why not?”

I caught myself avoiding looking into her dark eyes and staring at the wooden swirls at our table. Her hand stayed on mine.

“What’s bothering you?”

I looked up. Her cheekbones were glowing. I wasn’t sure if that was the lighting's work or just her effort before the date. Arzu had a lot of fine, thin features. Her eyebrows, her lips, and even her ears. She looked like a fragile crystalline figure that people would keep on their shelves, afraid that a speck of dust would destroy it.

“Nothing,” I tilted my head, and blinked deliberately slow.

“If you want, I can ask around, if anybody’s looking for a photographer. I wouldn’t really want you to suffer as you do now.”

“I’m just a stranger, you know that, right?” My hand stayed under hers as I glanced at it, but she squeezed even harder.

“You’re still a human who needs help.”

“You’re also a therapist, huh?”

“Let’s hope you will get to know me properly,” she lowered her voice, “I’m so much more than you would expect.”

I sucked in my lower lip, mirroring her.

“You’re right, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t like travelling.”

“Hey,” she said in a gentle, playful way, “If that’s a red flag for you, I can always walk out.”

“I don’t think you will.”

Her eyebrows jumped to the top of her forehead.

“And why’s that?”

I leaned in, closing the distance between our lips.

“You’re way too hungry.”

She crossed her arms together, “Fine, you win,” she huffed back.

While we were waiting for our food, Arzu took over the conversation and bombarded me with questions. What’s my favourite time of the year? What’s my zodiac sign? Do I have a favourite movie? I didn’t mind. She was just curious. It was nice to finally not be the one who does all the talking on the date. Looking at her neutral to positive reaction after each reply, I think I passed.

She passed a lot of my checks, too. Almost all of them, actually. She was funny, energetic, and slightly all over the place. I filed a couple of things about her, though. The travelling thing didn’t quite sit with me. Why would somebody prefer this type of lifestyle? Her weekends also seemed weird. According to her, she used to spend them in bed doing absolutely nothing. I could already picture that: crumbs in the sheets, a show that she’s barely watching, and a friend on the other side of the phone complaining about her date. Nothing about her was a dealbreaker. There are no perfect people, in the end. You just have to find somebody whose edges you can live with.

When the food arrived, I saw that the waiter hadn’t exaggerated – the platter was huge. Not one plate but four, each with its own section. Meat. Salad. Fries. Sauces. She rolled back her sleeves, tied her hair into a small bun and jumped into eating.

“Enjoy your food!”

“You too,” she replied, mid-chew.

I couldn’t help but give a little laugh at the muffled reply. She couldn’t resist either and joined, covering half of her mouth with a napkin – mouth wide and head thrown back. Arzu was eating like she hadn’t eaten in days and didn’t care who saw it. Dealbreaker? Not quite. Something between charming and weird. When she leaned back, I got a closer look at her silver earrings set with sapphires, or something like them. Dark blue really suited her skin.

We’d kept talking for almost two hours. I couldn’t believe that one of her favourite movies of all time was Independence Day. I mean, it’s a great movie, but one of the best? It seemed more like her dad’s opinion than her own. Since we stayed for so long, it was just a matter of time until the waiters' hospitality would shift once we stopped being profitable. Arzu also drank a small glass of wine right after we were asked to leave. The alcohol hit her fast. She barely held herself upright. I pressed her against myself and led her to the train station.

“Could you walk me home, please?” The glassy black eyes stared at me. Her mouth lightly opened, and a warm little sharp breath left it.

We entered the train, and almost immediately she fell asleep on my shoulder. I wasn’t coming home tonight. The way she remained at ease really shocked me. What did I do to earn her trust so much? According to her, she doesn’t really go on dates. I mean, I’ve heard that before, but it doesn’t always mean it’s true. From the side, I could see the envy of the other guys on the train who just wished they were me – my hand on her thin waist, hers resting on my chest. Was I ready for the start of something new? It seemed heading that way. As she lay on me, I kept asking myself only one question:

Could I do any better?

I thought back to my past dates. The last one went back seven months ago, when the girl ran away from me, and used ‘I’m going to the bathroom’ as an excuse. She certainly overreacted. How can I control my allergy to cats? I can’t. Arzu wasn’t like that. I doubted there was something about me she didn’t like. If there was, she would say it. She’s not the type to hold it in. She started to stir awake on my shoulder. I looked down.

“Good morning, sunshine!”

She blinked, still half-asleep, “What?”

I grinned and kissed her lightly on the forehead. She smiled against my shoulder and tried to close her eyes again. She stretched like a cat after a long nap and stared at me, saying absolutely nothing.

“Be careful, you will keep looking like that, you might as well fall in love.”

“Maybe I already did.”

I tucked in my lower lip.

“A bit random, but did I tell you dark blue suits your skin?”

Her shoulders lightly shook once, but her lips stayed pressed together.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I really like how your earrings highlight your skin tone. You look so,” I paused, “luxurious? Not sure if that’s the right word, but what I mean is that you look so…eh…shit. Don’t look at me like this.”

She tilted her head up, and I faced her irises closer still, no reflection of me in them at all. Just the warm weight of her gaze.

“Say what you want to say.”

“You look divine,” my hand ran through my hair slightly pulling on my scalp, “That’s perhaps a word.”

She leaned in closer and landed two kisses, one on each cheek. Warm and quick.

“Sorry, I’ve got this weird thing. If I kiss you on one side, I have to kiss the other one too. My dad did it like that. Guess it stuck.”

“I don’t think it’s weird,” I leaned back and returned a sudden press of lips against her pinkish cheeks. Her hands looked for her pockets, but I caught one and raised it to my lips.

“Marco.”

I hummed back.

“Can you maybe stay with me tonight? I don’t want you to get home super late.”

I stirred slightly on my chair, shifting my weight from one hip to another.

“Sure. It would be my honour.”

“But”, she put her index finger right in front of my face, “I’m not sleeping with you on the first night – I just,” she paused, the blush spread to her neck, “I’m just worried about you.”

I nodded.

Her apartment was on the third floor. I thought the alcohol had fully left her body until I saw her fumble the keys. She stayed in a very small, but practical place – her father’s, she said. I assumed he left it to her. A combined living room and kitchen, and one bedroom down the hall. I spotted a red velvet couch in the middle of the living room. Perhaps that was where I was going to spend the night.

“Will I sleep on the couch?”

“Yep, let me just quickly change and bring you linen. I will be back.”

Arzu vanished down the hallway, while I sat on the edge of her couch. The living room looked messy. It reminded me of how her thought process worked. From the wooden elephants on the shelf to a Xenomorph figure to a dog-shaped clock. On the kitchen counter, there were at least ten empty pizza boxes. The dishes in the sink were begging to be washed. Well, I suppose she wasn’t just waiting for any guests, so it’s forgivable.

For now.

“Here you go,” she gave me a blanket, linens, and a pillow, alongside a shirt in case I wanted to change.

“Xenomorph? You really into sci-fi, huh?”

She grinned, “My father bought it for himself, but I played so much with it, he had no choice but to give it to me. Don’t mind the mess, by the way.”

I nodded.

“Good night, Marco.”

“Good night, Arzu.”

She started walking towards the corner that led to her bedroom, but then she stopped.

“What do you think, by the way?”

She spun a full circle, showing off her dark-blue pyjamas covered in tiny stars. The sleeves were so long that her palms became invisible. The hems were practically dragging on the floor. She crossed her hands over her belly, waiting for my verdict.

“Arzu.”

“What?”

“You look perfect.”

ACT II: I Only Want What’s Best For You

Isake was the man who could make my career with one phone call. A tennis ex-pro with a list full of clients who were ready to pay stupid money for a guy who can hold a camera. I told Arzu that we had to be charming and likeable. This dinner was the closest I’d gotten to landing a high-paying job – but of course, her phone kept buzzing. She'd ignored it three or four times now, but each buzz pulled her eyes off him. I just hoped he wouldn’t notice. She turned the phone face down, but the screen kept glowing against the table.

“So that time, Elsa and I went skiing in Switzerland together, and mind you guys I never skied in my life.”

My grin disappeared when I saw Arzu just nodding and typing something under the table. My tongue ran along my upper teeth, and I felt heat climbing my neck. Why can’t she just turn it off? Is that so difficult? It’s as if she wants me to fuck it all up.

“Elsa just gave me ski poles and told me, ‘Go have fun.’,” he laughed loudly, catching our faces for a similar laugh, “Could you imagine my face at that moment?”

I slid my chair back and grabbed Arzu’s hand under the table. Gently.

“Sorry, Isake. Would you mind Arzu and me grabbing some air?” A quick apologetic smile crossed both our faces. For a split second, I thought she gave me a reflexive tug, but it was just a flinch. My hand slid down from her wrist to grip her palm. We stood and walked to the balcony.

“Arzu, I’ve asked you so many times. We must make a good impression on him. Is it so hard just to turn off your phone for two hours?”

“I know, babe, I’m so sorry, but she’s just–”

“No, let me guess,” I took a step towards her, “She’s so drunk she can’t find her way home,” I paused, raising my finger to her lips, “No. Better. Her ‘bad’ boyfriend again kicked her out of the house because she accidentally let another man’s penis slip inside of her, is that it?”

She looked down. “No.”

“What is it then?”

“She’s just saying that she doesn’t have any more friends, except me.” She looked away, “Regina really wants me to come. She’s feeling super lonely now–”

“Maybe, she’s the reason she doesn’t have any friends.”

“Marco,” her glare went flat, “You can’t say that.”

“Can’t, or shouldn’t? Because throughout the last couple of months, she’s given me every reason to say that,” I held up my fist. “She has been talking shit about you to her other friends, then crawling back to apologize.”

I snapped my index finger out.

“Wasn’t it Regina who kept telling you how terrible our relationship is, while she was cheating on her boyfriend more than three times?”

My middle finger followed.

“She bailed on you and sold your concert ticket just because she needed money.”

Ring finger.

“Every time you return home after meeting her, you feel drained. You don’t talk to anybody for a day. Tell me, is that a good friend?”

Pinky.

“Should I keep on going? She’s nothing but chaos for you. Even right now, she’s ruining our night out.”

There was something else I didn’t mention. Every time she came back from Regina, Arzu became so loud, vulgar, talking about things I would never hear from her. She turned my Arzu into somebody else. Somebody I wouldn’t want to be around.

She lifted her chin, locked her ink-dark eyes onto mine, and took my hand.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Will you listen to me, though?”

“I always listen to you.”

I exhaled, “Fine. I think you should block her at least for today. Then we will see.”

She tilted her head lightly, holding something back. She briefly opened her mouth, her tongue ran across her lower lip as if a ‘No’ was about to roll off her tongue.

“You’re right. Nothing will happen to her.”

She half-turned towards the city. Her shoulders slumped a little.

“Sometimes you must choose yourself. You can’t be somebody else’s saviour all the time.” I slipped my arm around her waist and anchored her to my side. I lightly pressed my lips against her left cheek. She looked up and turned her right cheek to me. I leaned forward.

“I didn’t tell you this when we were leaving, but you look just stunning, bae. I told you, you don’t need any makeup. Your natural beauty is just one of a kind.”

Her lips curled into a smile. I gently tucked the loose strands behind her ear as my palm rested on her cheek.

“I’m so lucky to have you. Can you wear your hair like that more often? Your neck’s so beautiful.”

From the way she laughed – loud, easy – Arzu had already forgotten about who’d been calling a minute ago. I kept my arm around her and guided her back inside.

“Come on, baby. They’re probably wondering where we are.”

ACT III: For Us.

I clenched the keys of the Subaru in my hand.

“Do we actually have to sell it?”

Tears ran down her cheeks.

“We’ve had this conversation before, baby. We don’t actually need two cars.”

“But can’t we sell yours?” she kept sobbing softly.

She had to start acting up the moment I’d arranged everything. I exchanged a brief look with a dealer and guided Arzu to the side. I grabbed her hands and pulled them towards me.

“Arzu,” my hand tucked the loose strands behind her ears, “I’m sorry, but keeping a car from 2006 is just not reasonable for now. My Skoda does everything a car needs to.”

“I don’t want to drive it. It’s ugly.”

“Arzu, don’t act like a child.”

She really did act like a child. She crossed her arms and huffed at me after every sentence. How is it my fault that her car breaks every other month, and we spend 20% of our earnings just so it can start up? No, I can’t say that now. I must be gentle.

“I won’t drive your car. I want to drive mine. Is it a lot to ask?”

My eyes drifted to the purple Subaru Impreza with the aftermarket JR3 wheels that she recently installed. Even looking at it pissed me off. The amount of money we threw at it. Installing a new splitter. A new spoiler. The hood scoop. Matrix lights. And the more stuff she invested in the car, the harder it became to sell. As soon as she mentioned to me that she wanted to install a new high-flow exhaust system, I knew we had to sell because then we would be stuck with a purple bucket of bolts that couldn’t do the one job it had.

“It’s not, but let’s be honest, baby. You’re not even driving anywhere.”

“I do,” her eyebrows almost glued to each other, “What do you mean?” She took a step back.

“Here’s what I mean: this car needs to be driven FAST. The maximum distance you drive per day is around…what? 5km? 4? You’re basically just killing the engine. If you do care about the car, the best thing you can do for it is to sell.”

Since she transitioned to this new clinic, her driving time had dropped drastically. Driving for her wasn’t a necessity. It was a liability. She was always so stubborn when it came to these things. Especially anything involving her father.

“And look,” I placed my hand on her shoulder, and tipped her chin up with the other, “I get your love for the cars. This was a gift from your dad. I know how much it means to you, but right now it will just stay in the garage. And we could really benefit from the other 15-20k we can get from it.”

She shook off my hand from her shoulder.

“Just say it directly.”

“Say what?”

“You want me to sell it.”

“It’s just the right thing to do. And you know it.”

“A right thing for who? You?”

“For us.”

“No. You don’t even have enough balls to say it to me. So you invent some bullshit about how I don’t drive anymore. Wanna see who has more miles on the car?”

“Arzu, we’re in public. We didn’t come to–”

“I don’t care.”

She stared at me for some time. I couldn’t decipher the meaning behind these black, empty eyes. It wasn’t the disgust. Not the frustration. It was something else I couldn’t name. Or didn’t want to name.

I huffed, “Fine, yes, I want you to sell it. Because it’s a useless scrap of metal and we’re planning our wedding, and this,” I pointed towards the car, “Isn’t something that we’ll need as a family. You happy now?”

She took a step in front of me and yanked the keys out of my hand.

“Can I at least go say bye?” The words barely came out, more hiss than voice.

I nodded, “I will be waiting here.”

She walked to the car and didn’t say a word back to me. I sat down on the dealership couch and watched her walk to the car through the glass. Slower than usual. Wasting time. She sat behind the wheel. Does she have to do this whole ritual right now? I wondered what she was thinking. Did she hate me? My phone started to vibrate inside my pocket. I looked down. It was Ilia. Regina’s boyfriend. Arzu still hadn’t unblocked her since that dinner last week. I picked up the call.

“Hey, Ilia.”

“Is Arzu next to you?”

“No, what happened?”

He inhaled. Paused. His breathing kept catching. When I looked up again, Arzu was already walking back towards the dealer. What had she done out there at the car?

“Man, I’m kind of in the middle of something. What happened?”

“Regina overdosed.”

23k. That was the number where Arzu’s face stopped looking quite so disgusted. The initial offer was 16k. I’d almost shaken on it already, but she cut in and took over the negotiation. I let her. This was the least I could do. Everybody left with a smile on their face, except her. This time, I didn’t even mind her putting her feet on the dashboard, as we were driving toward home. Well, technically ours now, since we’ve moved in. She had earphones in and just sat there looking somewhere into the field. I could only see the reflection of her dark eyes and mouth that didn’t twitch, not once.

“Arzu, what do you want to eat?”

“Arzu,” I repeated, but now a bit louder.

“ARZU,” the sudden roar made my left wrist twitch and drag the wheel just to get us out of the lane.

Her feet jerked up, and she placed her hand to her chest.

“My god, what do you want?”

“Arzu, I can’t even talk to you now? Can you take them off at least when we’re together?” My voice came out heavy, almost exhausted.

“Fine,” she hissed, and yanked one headphone out of her ear. The one that faced me.

I shouldn’t have screamed. My voice should never have sounded like it did. I extended my hand and placed it on her thigh. She dodged it. I pulled it away and placed it back on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry, baby. It wasn’t an appropriate tone on my side. I just…wanted to talk to you. It’s so hard for me to reach you when you’re…wearing those…all the time.”

She didn’t say anything back. Reasonable. I wouldn’t want to talk either if I had just sold a car that mattered to me, and somebody also screamed.

“Have you heard anything from Regina lately? Since you blocked her?”

“No,” she expelled with a harsh breath, “How would I if I blocked her?”

“Right, right.” I hesitated, “Ilia called.”

Her head turned to me.

“She’s currently in the Medical Detox. She overdosed.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Apparently, she wanted to kill herself. He found her in the bathroom, all sallow, shivering. Gosh, when he described it, I didn’t know what I would do if I were in his position. If that ever happened to you,” I turned to her, “I would blame myself for it for the rest of my life.”

Tears ran down my face.

“I’d never do that to you. Pull over, you’re shaking.”

I parked at the shoulder and left the car. Slowly, calming my breathing.

Arzu had followed me out, standing at my shoulder.

“Did he tell you anything else?”

“The doctors told him that she tried to use the laces from her hoodie to choke herself.”

She gasped.

“He’s now there with her.”

I paused.

“Arzu, I told you she’s no good. Look what you almost got yourself into. She needs genuine help.”

“There’s so much happening right now. Why can’t it just be easier?”

“We’ll manage, baby. Together.”

ACT IV: He Just Cares About You

I entered the apartment and heard clanging from the kitchen. I was famished. Hopefully, Arzu had something ready for me.

“Babe, I’m home.”

“Come in. My turkey’s burning.”

My eyes slid to the huge brown box that sat on the left. It was another toy from Back To The Future. I wondered where the $400 from my credit card had gone. I angrily kicked off the shoes by the door. One of the shoes hit a huge brown boot that I didn’t recognise.

“Arzu.”

“What’s up, Babe?”

She turned sideways. Hair hidden in a bun, wearing my white T-shirt, and grey shorts.

“Didn’t you tell me that you weren’t going to buy toys anymore?”

She rinsed her hands and shook them dry.

“I know. I know. But it’s the very last one, I promise.”

“I’ve heard that before,” I said and pointed toward the shelf with over 20 toys that included all sorts of movie characters. There they all were, Arnold from Terminator. Spider-man. Even Tyler Durden as Brad Pitt.

“I promise, baby,” she slid her hand low across my waist. “This was actually the last one.”

“I’m afraid that won’t do the trick,” I pushed her hand off me, and threw the bills I’d carried in onto the table, “We’re running out of time on our credit bills. And mortgage. So, all of that,” I gestured vaguely towards the shelf, “It has to go.”

“No,” she gasped and ran to the letters as if they might say something different from what I just had, “Can’t we sell something from your Golf equipment?”

“I already did.”

Sort of. I just rented them to my friend for the next 6 months.

“My god, maybe I can ask some money from friends?”

“No.” It came out flat. She knew I hated it when we asked for money from anyone, “We can afford it all by ourselves, just get rid of those,” I gestured vaguely toward the far end of the room. “I will be in the bedroom. I will just lie there for a bit.”

“Wait,” she grabbed my arm, “What about food?”

“I will come just a bit later, okay?”

She kept on fidgeting with her hands. Opening and closing them. Her mouth working too, lightly biting her lower lip.

“What’s wrong, Arzu?”

“Nothing,” I knew this wasn’t her natural smile. She curled her lips way too little for it to pass as one.

I walked towards our bedroom and lightly opened the door. I saw the old man with deep creases over his face lying on my side of the bed. His breathing rasped, as if somebody were pressing a crayon too hard against a board. I coughed. He flinched. His watery blue eyes looked at me, and a gentle, warm smile stretched across his face.

“Sorry, young man, didn’t mean to,” he coughed with the same heavy rasp, “Just thought I would lie for a second. I will leave just in a bit,” he raised his body, and started to bow. His eyes creasing like his smile, practically begging me to forgive him.

“Take your time, sir,” I lightly closed the door.

Arzu already stood behind me. She knew.

“I thought,” my voice started to climb up, “We’ve settled the issue of bringing homeless people home.”

“Marco, it’s -15 out there. What was I supposed to do?” Her voice was unbearable. A squeaky, high-pitched sound that was just disgusting to listen to.

“Leave him there. Anywhere. Not in my bed,” my voice cracked, and a shriek tore out of me.

“Half of those bills aren’t even mine. You don’t get to dictate what I do here.”

I stepped into her, close enough she had to look up. Her crooked teeth now made quite an appearance. Arguing with such a hysteric made no sense. I heard the old man coming from the bedroom.

“I’ll go, I’ll go. No need.”

Arzu’s black eyes went completely wide. For once, I saw my reflection in them.

“It’s not even your apartment. My dad bought it for me. I can keep whoever I want in it.”

“So that’s how you want to play, Arzu. What’s mine and what’s yours?”

My lips pulled into a relaxed, almost manic grin.

“Arzu. Either you calm down right now and tell this man to get the fuck out, or I’m leaving.”

Her lips trembled, and her hands gripped the apron.

“Leave. I’m not holding you.”

I turned away, grabbed my coat, and closed the door.

She’s going to regret this.

#

“I’m very sorry, Arzu,” the old man sneezed into his tea, “You’ve got so much trouble because of me.”

“Don’t bother,” I wiped off the rest of the tears that dropped from my face, “Sometimes you have to remind him that he’s not the boss in my house.”

He clicked his tongue and shook his head side to side.

“You’re such a good couple. There’s no reason to argue over an old man. Call him.”

“No. I’m not.”

“Why not?”

“He said that I have to kick you out and sell some of my most precious things just to manage some loans.”

He chuckled.

“Loans are important. Trust me, I know.”

Another cough followed.

“You were set up. That’s different.”

He grinned lightly, “I was a fool, Arzu. That’s what it was. He’s not. He just doesn’t want your family to fall apart. He just cares about you.”

I paused and looked at him. Maybe Marco was sometimes unbearable, but I couldn’t remember a single time he’d meant me harm. Or that he had a bad intention.

But today he genuinely lost it. Not that I was an angel either.

“But I can’t let you go outside.”

He waved it off and stood up.

“I will figure it out. You have already helped me tons.”

“Wait,” I rushed to the kitchen counter and packed up the cottage cheese pancakes that I had left, “At least so you’re not going to be hungry. Also, let me pour you some tea.”

“Thank you, Arzu. Thank you.”

I walked him out of the apartment. But I didn’t dial the phone to call him. I went through my contact list. Regina was in rehab now, and she hated me for the block. I opened the random video chat. Filtered out the age. 25-35. Only female. It searched for five minutes and gave no results. I closed the laptop and approached my shelf. I grabbed the Xenomorph figure that I stole from my dad. I remember how he queued for it. Mom was so mad at him for wasting money, so he hid it in my room. I grinned. The panic in his eyes when I started to play with it was priceless. My hands slid over the cold plastic. I’d already gone through my old clothing, but nothing really cost more than $20. Everything I had was already second-hand. I needed him back. To hear his preachiness again. To be next to him, lying in my bed, and curling under his warmth. Don't fight each other. He always listens to you, Arzu. If not you he would have still worked at that shitty job. Or talked to these alcoholics disguised as friends. He sacrificed his golf passion for you. Can’t you do the same? Can’t I do the same? I looked down at the figure. Sorry dad. I put it back exactly where it stood for the past years and opened my phone.

“I was wrong. Come back.”

An hour passed, and I heard the knock on the door. I opened it, and it was him. His dark, long hair rested on his shoulders. His nose and cheeks were red. His shoes and coat were covered in the snow.

“Did you spend all this time outside?”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

I leaned in and kissed his left cheek. I tried to reach his right one, but he turned away. I paused for a second and looked at him.

“Are we okay?”

“Everything’s fine, Arzu. Let’s go to bed.”

ACT V: Just The Way You Like It

Since Arzu stopped wasting money, saving had gotten easier. The job with Isake had come through. I shot the club’s matches while he coached. It didn’t sound prestigious, but it paid well. In the past half year, Arzu and I had travelled a lot. Five countries, five-star hotels only. She’d even redownloaded her socials to document it all – with my encouragement, of course. Today, I came back earlier than usual. It was just a training day at the Camp. Arzu wasn’t supposed to be back until nine because of her Pilates class, so I invited a couple of the boys to watch a game today. The Ukrainian Super Cup Final should never be skipped. Even if it’s clearly one-sided. I put the key in the lock, but it turned freely. No resistance whatsoever.

“Babe? You home?”

I stepped inside the apartment, and the smell of toasted bread reached me.

“BABY. You’re back,” A tiny figure emerged from the kitchen. Flour was all over her forearms, hair coming loose.

“Arzu, I thought you went to pilates.”

“Nah,” she waved it off, “I cancelled it. I’m not going anymore.”

“Wait, why? I thought you liked it.”

I took off my jacket and started going toward the coat rack, but Arzu snatched it away and placed it in the closet for me.

“No,” she cocked her hip against the wall, “You were right, it’s stupid.”

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did,” she grinned and pulled my left cheek to the side.

“I never said it like that, and Arzu, stop pulling on my cheek.”

“Oh,” her hands dropped to her hips, “Sorry, I just missed you.”

“I missed you too,” I gave her half a hug, keeping clear of the apron stiff with flour. “But did I actually call it stupid?”

“You did, honey. You said Pilates is stupid. If you want a real workout, you should go to the gym. Now we can be together, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Yeah.” My hand slowed in her hair, nails dragging her scalp.

“Marco, it hurts.”

“Sorry, lost the train of thought.”

“Happens,” she grinned, staring at my chin, “Ready to eat?”

“Yeah, that would do, but.”

“What?”

I lightly scratched my stubble, “I invited boys to watch the game tonight, as I thought you would be away.”

“That’s no problem. There’s more than enough snacks for all of you, and honestly? I am curious to see if Shakhtar will win the derby again. I will watch it with you.”

“Since when are you curious about it?”

She landed a light, soft kiss on my lips. I couldn’t even protest or slip away – just stood there like a deer in headlights.

“Since I started dating you, dummy.”

Would it be rude to say that this was supposed to be a boys’ night? Not Arzu’s night with the boys. We’d already had plenty of those. But also, wouldn’t it be the best gesture to thank her efforts by just letting her watch the game? She wouldn't talk much if I asked her not to.

I took a big breath and formed a wide smile across my face.

“Okay, babe, feel free to join us.”

Arzu leaned against my shoulder, while the guys sat on opposite edges of the couch. My phone buzzed. I pulled it from the pocket, slightly tilting it away from Arzu’s reach. It was a text from Mike.

‘I thought you meant it was only us. Not us and your girl.’

Denis followed up.

‘Yeah, man. We wouldn’t be able to relax again – she’s gonna keep asking questions over and over. What’s the point in it?’

‘Agree. Could’ve watched the game at home at this point.’

Visibly, her cooking hadn't bought her a place with them. She’d half-collapsed against me, head on my shoulder. It was her usual position every time she got close to falling asleep. Her eyelids were getting droopy every five seconds, yet she kept forcing them to lift.

“Babe,”

“Huh,” she looked up at me, one eye still half-closed.

“Don't you feel tired from all the work and cooking? Maybe you should go rest. I will tell you everything about the game tomorrow.”

“No, no,” she straightened herself and leaned forward, “I’m awake and ready.”

“Babe, you’re not,” I placed my hand on her shoulder, “Go rest, dear. You worked so hard. You deserve a break now.”

Her head turned to me sluggishly, trying to hold a childish squint.

“You sure?”

I nodded.

“Fine, baby,” she lifted herself up, and kissed me on my left cheek. Her body started to lean forward, reaching my right one, but I quickly turned my lips towards hers, and lightly tapped her on her lower back.

“Not now, babe, okay?” I tilted my head with my eyes already on the screen. Arzu stared at me. Longer than I would expect. Just two black eyes directed at me. I didn’t look at her and just whispered ‘love you’ as she turned and left the room with a backward glance.

Arzu wouldn’t make an argument in public. Not anymore.

When we heard our bedroom door shut, the boys pulled in the beer cans and handed one to me. I didn’t dare to take a sip. My throat felt wrong, like something was stuck inside of it. If I were to swallow something now, the beer would just pool in my mouth and choke me.

Dynamo opened the score in the fifth minute.

ACT VI: He’s My Best Friend

Marco got held up at work today, but he told me that he wasn’t going to be late for our anniversary. It’s already been a year, and I still can’t believe that I found love. I think I have been one of the few lucky ones in this world. He's done so much for me throughout these past months — every time I doubted myself, he was there, and not once did he ever make me doubt him. I walked into the living room and dropped onto our couch. I smiled to myself. He’s really bringing me back to that Greek place. How dare he, actually? That was his part of the surprise, but I don’t think it’s a surprise anymore since I accidentally saw the reservation notification on his phone.

I was certain my surprise was better. Not like we competed. We never did actually. He never pressed me, never forced me to do something I didn’t want – instead, he was just always trying to protect me. Goosebumps ran up my arms. Where would I be without him now? My hand drifted to the back of my neck and swept up through my hair, the same way he does it. I pulled my knees to my chest. He was going to like it. I even asked his mom about it, and she told me that he always preferred it that way, and only that way. I didn’t want to disappoint him on such an occasion. I reached for Marco’s shelf and pulled one of the books that he’d been reading these past few weeks. He told me it wasn’t that engaging, but he hadn’t gotten far into it. Maybe I can finish it before he arrives, and we can discuss it over dinner?

I flipped the first page of Third Time’s A Charm and started reading.

ACT VII: I’ve Never Looked Better

My hands had been on the wheel for twenty minutes. I wanted to drive away, but where? I kept turning the key, the engine almost catching each time. Maybe I should say that Mike’s relative died, and I should visit him. She’s probably sitting there like she always does, waiting for you, counting minutes until she launches herself onto you as soon as you take a step forward. I saw the light in our living room glowing from the window. A shadow moved behind the curtains, side to side. I wanted to chain myself to this chair, lock the doors, and climb into the trunk. No, Marco, don’t be a kid. It’s your anniversary, for God’s sake. You paid over $200 to reserve that place, go out there and have a great night there. Just you and…her.

I unbuckled the seatbelt and walked out of the car. A minute later, I stood in the doorway of an apartment.

“Babe, close your eyes,” a high-pitched shriek reached me from the living room.

“What?” I said, while sliding my feet out of my shoes.

“Just close your eyes.”

I obliged.

I heard small steps getting louder, giggles sliding past her covered mouth.

“Can I open them now?”

“Yes,” Her mint breath hit my face.

I opened my eyes.

“What do you think?”

Arzu stood in front of me in a dark blue tight dress that hugged her hips so delicately. The silver earrings I gave her on New Year’s hung from her ears, fully visible now under her short hair. Her neck was uncovered, too. I stepped forward and slid my hand across her cheek.

“Do I look ready for the anniversary dinner now?”

She'd done everything. The hair as I favoured. The dress and the earrings that matched it. Every piece of it exactly right.

“Almost,” I grinned with a warmth I hadn't felt in a while.